Real Life question : prefer Female answers

I took a girl out for a first date last night, and pretty much fucked it up. It's not that I offended her, or that she hates me now or anything. I just know that i made a "non-impression". In other words, I didn't do anything to make myself ugly, I just was... dull. Really, I didn't realize it until afterwards, but i wasn't exciting at all. I was totally demur and just not that interesting. I mean sure, we talked about a lot of different things and all, but I could tell at the end of the night that she could really care less if I ever asked her out again. Not that she would mind hanging out with me, but I gaurantee she didn't walk into her house and say "omg, i hope he calls me tomorrow!"

so anyways, without rambling on any further, here's the question. I've been mulling over calling her, or going by her work (she's a waitress at my old job) and saying something like
"hey, I been thinking about last night and I want to say 4 things (all of these are true btw). 1, you looked fantastic last night. Maybe you didn't think it was any big thing, but I thought you looked sexy, but tastefully so. 2, you smelled great. again. I don't know what perfume or spray or whatever that was you were wearing, but it's fucking intoxicating. 3, I enjoyed your company. I liked getting to know some of the things you are interested in and learning i wasn't the only one who's been through(Insert big, bad ordeal both she and i have experienced.) Forthly, that was, without doubt, the Worst date I have ever been on. And it was in no way you're fault. I'm really sorry. I been thinking about it since last night and I really fucked that up. I don't know why, but i know I'm far more interesting and enjoyable to be around. Didn't help that the movie sucked, but I promise you next time it'll be a lot better and I won't be so stiff."

so, ladies, if I go by and talk to her and say that, will it just make things worse? Should I just wait a week or two for my mood or whatever to swing back the right way, or should I admit that it was a bad night and apologize. (ok, not bad, but dull, not good.)

guys, you can give your opinions too of course, but i'd really like to honestly know which gender it's coming from b/c i think that makes a big difference.

why am i asking all of maintankadin for relationship advice? damned if i know...

Don't go to her work and dump all that on her. She will think you're desperate and clingy.

(Happily Married Man)
_________________

You didn't necessarily screw everything up. You're seeing things from your perspective only. It may be best to call her in a day or two and ask her out for something completely inane (typically coffee).

Or do the dirty trick. Ask her friends.
_________________

One answer:

AOE tank them.

XD
_________________

Don't down play yourself. When you talk to her, don't go saying about how you thought you were boring, dull, etc...she thinks what she thinks regardless (and that may not have been her impression anyway, maybe she found you charming etc)

Do talk her up. Tell her how good of a time you had with her. You mentioned "worst date ever"...if you must bring that up, bring up a specific situation, and explain how her being there made it better...eh, that's about all i can think of atm.

I'm no date doctor, but that's just what it would seem to me.
_________________

well, i think part of the problem last night was no originality. dinner and a movie... except it was midweek, so only time for a movie... how lame is that LOL...

but considering the weather, yeah coffee might be a good idea.

Coming from another happily married man, the first thing you may want to do is talk to those same friends instead of us!

Tell them how amazing she was, and that you feel you totally bombed the date and wish you could make it up. If they are real friends, they will pass that information on to her when it comes up, and it will look very good to her that you were talking about how amazing she was to them.

Of course, going by my luck with 'friends', that will totally backfire on you, but I'm already married
_________________
<3 Bram

The enemy outnumber us a paltry three to one, good odds for any Paladin!

Male (if you remember from our talk in vent... lmao)

If EVER you're going to tell a woman that sort of thing ... drop the smell line. Fast.

I've had friends come up to me and tell me that such-and-such a guy said they smelled really amazing ... and it creeped them out. They couldn't explain why ... but it did.

Smells are one of those things that you notice and don't comment on until you're more familiar with the person.


But yeah, don't pass by her work. If anything, bring it up in casual conversation, and don't tell her you've been thinking about it. That might make it more awkward. A simple "Hey listen, I realise that things were dull the other night, and I apologize for that. Mind if I make it up to you with (coffee/dinner/luncheon/etc.)?"
_________________
Official thread killer

I used to play counter strike in a competitive clan for quite a long time. I was 22 the oldest guy in the group most of the guys I played with ranged from 16-19 and were always asking "dating" type questions. Seeing as how I was living with a gf at the time they thought of me as an expert

Anyways Ill give you the same advice I would give to them

1. If she already agreed to go out with you she probably is attracted to in some way. Usually that means she will go out with you again

2. First dates suck. Your so busy trying to be impressive you may come across as a jerk or not interested.

If you really want to go out with her again. Phone her and ask her out. If she says no well thats just the way it goes sometimes. Dont beg it makes you look really weak and you dont want a woman who likes that trust me.
_________________

I'd be a little creeped out tbh if I was her.

Also: movies are not a good idea for a first date, you really can't go talk and get to know someone. Go for coffee or dinner or a drink or something.
_________________

Confidence is key. Let her see your confident, even if you arent, and you will seem interesting. Going up to her and falling apart and going "omgomgomg I screwed up" will only be offputting.

So hang out with her some more, even if its not a "date", and if things seem to be going well then ask her on another official "date"
_________________

why are you on an internet forum looking for advice from females?
_________________
"Misunderstanding the Tankadin is forgivable.

In many ways we are still learning to understand ourselves."

www.joanadark.tankspot.com

woot, thank god I got some input b4 going all weak-kneed pathetic wuss up to her apologizing for having an off day

gotta luv y'all

I'll take it like a man and when the chance comes up to hang out with her this weekend (usually all the restaraunt staff goes out drinking one night on the weekend) I'll be there with her and everyone else. That'll be good times without me even trying, then I can try for coffee or something next week.